making friends is hard

I tried my third Meetup.

To recap, the first one was an older person walking group who were all in way better shape than me.  I almost died.  Okay, not really, but it felt like it.  I keep meaning to try again...

The second one was a book group.  I hated the book, barely got a word in edgewise, and will definitely try again.  The next book is much better and one I never would have picked up on my own.  The leader of the group gets book recommendations from YouTube.  I didn't even know that's a thing.

On to my third one, which was women-only, just to socialize and make friends.  Yay.  It was a younger group, but they allowed me in fortunately.  They immediately started talking about laser hair removal.  They'd all done it multiple times.  I listened a lot and asked questions.  We also talked about family, men, shopping, dreams, careers, food, hobbies, and whatever else struck our fancy.

I was medicated with a migraine during two of them, so I obviously didn't partake in drinking alcohol.  I know that puts off people, but I feel it's more off-putting to explain why.  Sometimes for funsies, I tell people I'm Mormon or a recovering addict, just to change things up.  When I was asked what I do work-wise, I said I was in-between jobs, exploring my options.  That felt easier than saying unable to work due to disability.  Fuck, I hate that word.

Meetups still feel a bit artificial to me, but I'm hoping they'll feel natural soon enough.  If I keep trying them.